1.) Presence and relationship:
Continuous care
You can only influence people with whom you are in contact and maintain a relationship. This is why it is so difficult to tell an unknown person who is not behaving appropriately in a public space to stop their disruptive behaviour.
2.) Support and network:
Constructive and fear-free
Sometimes relationship work can become a burden for individuals – and not just at school. That is why it is important to create a support network. The team should have a climate in which problems can be discussed without fear. Sometimes it may even be necessary for the whole team (including parents) to come together to signal their support.
3.) Non-violent resistance:
Persevere until change is achieved
It is more about perseverance. A necessary change that is demanded is demanded until the change occurs. The cornerstones mentioned so far form an anchor function: ‘We are here and we won’t go away, even when things get difficult. You can rely on us,’ is the message to the other party.
4.) Transparency and publicity:
No misunderstood discretion
Why someone is acting, what they are doing and how they are acting must be transparent. This creates reliability, which has a positive effect on mutual trust. It is important that misconduct is communicated openly – while respecting personal rights, of course. The opposite of this is secrecy and cover-ups under the pretext of misunderstood discretion; this protects harmful and misguided behaviour.
5.) De-escalation and self-control:
Keeping impulsive behaviour under control
It is difficult to remain calm when someone makes statements in anger that trigger us. But this is where the magic lies if we manage to see a verbal attack from the other person for what it is. Many expressions of anger are an expression of an injury suffered and not primarily an attack against another person.’
from the parents’ magazine Fritz+Fränzi:
